Not long before I initially Awakened, modern interpretations of Advaita philosophy were becoming popular, promoted primarily by “Neo-Advaita” Western teachers. The term non-duality was becoming more commonly used in modern spiritual teachings. And modern Western non-dual philosophy was becoming the new standard in a growing quest for Enlightenment.
I never really studied Advaita, except to the extent that it was a part of the teachings of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. So, I had little breadth of knowledge on which to assess the clarity of the teachings of modern non-dual philosophy as they were proliferating.
After I first Awakened, it was clear to me that I had shifted into Self-Realization in accord with Maharishi’s description. But I was curious how my Awakening fit in with the modern non-dual teachings. I was living in the San Francisco Bay Area at the time, so there was no shortage of non-dual teachers making the rounds through the area. I must say that my initial gut feeling with many teachers, many of whom have since faded from view, was that there was something amiss.
Nevertheless, I found myself examining my Awakening in the context of these modern interpretations of Advaita. And frankly I felt there were some shortcomings in modern non-duality, but maybe these could have been explained by differences in choices of words and expressions in the teachings. But when many in the modern non-dual movement began to describe Awakening as “oneness,” greater discrepancies arose.
When oneness as a term began to became more pervasive in referring to Awakening this presented a problem. Many of the modern non-dual teachers seemed to speak of Awakening as leading directly from ignorance, the unawakened state, to oneness, as if it were one step.
I had learned from the teachings of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi that the initial Awakening of Self-Realization was in fact quite dualistic. Unity Consciousness (or “oneness” in modern non-dual language) was what Maharishi described as non-dual, but this comes sometime after Self-Realization has been established. It was clear to me that my initial Awakening was Self-Realization. This Awakening revealed quite a gap between the Awakened Self as Pure Conscious Being and all the world around me. It was clearly dualistic. How could anyone miss that fact?
So, I wondered if some of these modern non-dual teachers skipped over the dualistic reality of Self-Realization for a reason. It seemed unlikely that their teachings were so advanced that they would take students from ignorance to Unity Consciousness/oneness in a single step, completely skipping over Self-Realization. And if this did actually occur, it would likely be very rare. Or were they saying that Self-Realization was a state of oneness? What was going on?
It seemed to me more likely that some teachers were referring to Self-Realization as non-dual. Might they have presumed that since Advaita philosophy addresses Awakening, and Advaita means non-dual, then Self Realization must fall into the non-dual category?
I must add that I became skeptical of some of the contemporary non-dual teachers. Before my Awakening, I had a strong intuitive sense that some of these teachers were presuming a more profound awakening than they had actually had. It seemed to me that they were basing their views and teachings on a limited realization and a limited understanding of non-duality. However, they appeared very certain of their awakenings and understandings. And who was I to judge? I could not simply reject their contribution to the mix of non-dual philosophy and spiritual teachings.
As my initial Awakening blossomed towards Unity Consciousness I relied on Maharishi’s map of Awakening. I would have enjoyed more input along the way, but I felt I could not rely on most modern non-dual teachings having sufficient clarity. It’s never good to follow a map that doesn’t give you clear directions.
Once I realized this, I chose to lay modern teachings aside and just go with the self-evident truth of my Awakening and its continuing unfoldment wherever that led me. This process revealed a clearer reality and understanding. And I began to construct a map of Awakening based on my experience.
Most people I knew in the spiritual community had taken an interest in modern non-dual teachings. But some of what was revealed to me in my direct experience did not always seem in agreement with the emerging notions of modern non-dual philosophy. When I shared about the unfolding perspectives revealed by my Awakening and subsequent Awakenings, I was often met with a dogmatic pushback that asserted my Awakening or understanding was somehow flawed, or worse, that I was deluded.
You probably know, or can imagine, the resistance that is evoked when someone shares their experience or understanding from a place of authenticity that could challenge someone else’s beliefs, particularly when those beliefs have been communicated and supported by their teacher. People can be very tribal about their teacher or their faith.
I learned to keep quiet. I chose my confidants carefully and stopped sharing openly about Awakening, experience, and insight — at least until I discovered that Pure Conscious Being, while infinite and eternal, rests in another “infinity,” the Divine. That realization was something I simply could not be quiet about.
– Joel